Friday, March 16, 2012

F is for Fluffy Bunny

Fluffy bunny is a derogatory phrase I have heard as long as I've been a part of the Pagan community. I believe it refers to those bright eyed and bushy tailed young witches eager to believe everything they're handed and take it all to extremes. The problem I have with it, besides the fact that it's derogatory, is that I believe we are all fluffy bunnies at some point.

I have been a witch and a Pagan just about all of my life. When I was about 24, newly divorced and newly moved to a new neighborhood, I decided to reach out to the local Pagan community and see if I could make some connections. I answered an ad and joined a Wiccan coven. Understand that I had zero experience with Wicca at this point and really didn't know what it was. As it was explained to me at first, I thought it was what I was. After a few Circles with my new coven I realized that I was not, in fact, Wiccan already. But I was willing to make a go of it, I just needed a little guidance. My questions got on their nerves and I soon learned a new word, Fluffy Bunny. Now I had more experience with herbal magic, kitchen witchery and spell casting than any of them, but I

I see fluffy  bunny trouble in our future
didn't know how to call quarters, was completely mystified by their concept of deity and needed more clarification on the rede. They considered me naive and immature and perhaps it was true when it came to their religion. They confused me, embarrassed me, and made me feel stupid and that was a fluffy bunny mistake I would make over and over. For a time I went by the policy that if you were Pagan, I would be your friend and I got burned by it until I finally got over it.


Spotted a whole busload in Baltimore!
My daughter was raised Pagan and was doing her first spells in kindergarten. My children ate empowered breakfasts over which we discussed the symbolism of their dreams, kept magic charms in their rooms, celebrated every Sabbat at home if not with a group and basically lived as out Pagan as one can. She's 19 now and she is a Fluffy Bunny, stumbling through the challenging task of integrating the beliefs she was raised with with the beliefs of the other Pagans she's gotten to know of her own generation. I cringe just a bit, but what can you do? There really are no two family traditions alike and the established traditions aren't like any of them. So whenever a Pagan child goes out into the world, she's going to experience a little friction with the other Pagans until she finds those few she can comfortably Circle with.

This fluffy bunny terrorist infiltrated
our Lammas celebration in '07
The funny thing is, although we are "out" Pagans and have been my children's whole lives, I can only remember one incident where another child teased my oldest son about being Pagan. The teacher put a stop to it and the principal asked if we couldn't call ourselves something other than Pagan. I laughed and told him we are actually Neo-Hellenic Polytheists following a self-defined family tradition that was hard to define and had no official name. He paled and said Pagan was fine. There was one incident in Girl Scouts when my daughter called another girl stupid for saying that all witches could fly, but that blew over. We have faced very little, if any, discrimination from the general community but from within the Pagan community we have been called fluffy bunnies, puritanical, fake Pagans, posers, etc. In my case it's been more than 10 years since I've had to deal with it and I thought it was dead, but there it is again.

No wonder the economy
is in the toilet
Why is it that those most eager to learn and discuss those things that most conflict with what we already believe suffer the most derision? It's as if disagreeing or questioning the status quo is heretical. I have been told that fluffy bunny is applied only to those who hold tight to those beliefs when they are wrong. Without getting into the discussion of whether anyone knows who is right or who is wrong, I can't help but point out that sharing your conflicting opinion does not constitute holding tight to it. Sometimes discussing different viewpoints can lead to a change of viewpoint, but it doesn't happen all at once. It shouldn't. If you're going to flop your opinion from one short conversation then your opinion isn't worth much in the first place.

Our family, and some of our friends, have embraced the term "fluffy bunny". We have quite a few stuffed bunnies that we take with us to Pagan gatherings and announce that the fluffy bunnies have invaded. These bunnies have had their pictures taken all over the place and sent home with messages like "As expected, the fluffy bunnies are all over Salem" and "uh oh, it seems the fluffy bunnies are attempting to take over the capital". They've become something like a "flat Stanley". We have had so much fun with it that I've been thinking of setting up a website to share our pictures on, but I lost interest when my camera broke. Perhaps it's time I got around to it.

Addendum: I added some of our fluffy bunny pictures, at least the ones I could easily find.

20 comments:

  1. I've been called everything from a Fluffy Bunny to a "fundamentalist Christian witch" and a cult leader - all by fellow Pagans. And though I have faced some discrimination *online* from those of other religions, in my personal life, where I am out, and my daughter is out at school, we've faced nearly none at all.

    I love that you've used humor to fight the "fluffy bunny" to help combat the term. If it ever wants to take a picture at the Jersey shore, I'd be happy to photograph it! =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think maybe we need to rethink how we look at it all together. I see paganism as the spirituality of paths, like in life as we learn, grow, and change so our perspectives so does our views, and knowledge, our feelings and connections within our faith. Everyone starts on a path somewhere, everyone's journey has a beginning. It can be a mental shift every time the urge of to say or think fluffy bunny use a positive affirmation "they're just beginning their journey"

    Or maybe I'm just rambling :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful essay - I've linked to it on the CUUPS (Covenant of Unitarian Universalist PaganS) page on Facebook.
    www.facebook.com/CUUPS.org

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've used the term 'Fluffy Bunny'(never with insult in mind), though never to describe a young, questioning seeker starting out on the path... For me it describes the young witch who doesn't ask questions... One who has just picked up their first 101 book, and claims to know everything there is about the Craft, and doesn't wish to learn, or see other views than those described in the pages of their shiny new book...

    I cringe, but I keep it to myself...

    Excellent Post!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The source of our knowledge is the literature in our community.

    There is very little scholarly evidence for much of what we read in “Pagan” books. Insert Wicca, Druidry, Shamanism, etc… Anyone with even the slightest bit of writing talent can produce a neo-Pagan book. They can then embark on publish, market, seminar trail and their works become valid because WE (as the consumers) validate them. Somehow, somewhere, we adopt these writings (and seminars) to be some kind of truth in our community (perhaps we feel they are more credible because there is often cost associated with them). So those in the community who have become “experts” have simply read and absorbed a great deal of the tripe that has been continually published since the mid 20th century.

    Therefore, the Fluffy Bunny (I’ve been a practicing neo-Pagan for decades and have only just recently heard that term) simply possesses an uncorrupted, innocent mind that has yet to conform to what standards the community at large has adopted. Those who offer up the label “Fluffy Bunny” expect the neophyte to conform, and oftentimes, to make some cash investment in order to become validated. But these “bunnies” are just naïve and still full of wonder. I’ve seen this wonder shut down by condescending, judgmental group organizers who profess to know what is right and what is wrong simply because they have spent more money on books at the Occult shop, have attended some seminar by some self-appointed guru, or have some longevity in conforming to the status quo.

    Now I’ve painted with a pretty broad brush here. There are very good neo-Pagan writers out there, and there are some very annoying neophytes coming into the community. However, I think you’ll tend to find annoying beginners everywhere. I agree that the term “Fluffy Bunny” is derogatory and is the equivalent to saying “one who has not conformed.” There are plenty of other spiritual paths that emphasize conformity. I don’t think neo-Paganism, in any form, should…

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post!

    I think it is deeply wrong to apply the term on somebody who just doesn't know something yet. Because nobody woke up one morning and was - OMG - such a kwel all-knowing wytch.

    Being young and/or unexperienced is not = fluffy.

    Fluffy is the one (regardless of age) who is not willing to learn or to change in any way and is spilling 'knowledge' all over the place, while reacting to everyone who dissents with a cry about the big meanies.

    You, Madam, are not a Fluffy Bunny. ;)
    (But I'd really like to see those pictures. =))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Edited the post with some pictures for you.

      Delete
    2. Awwww, they are cool!
      I love especially the one with the crystal ball! *lol*
      You rock!

      Delete
  7. Love it! I've always hated the term Fluffy Bunny because it's derogatory and like you say, it has applied to all of us at one point. Sort of a jealousy sniping term. Way to reclaim it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hate the term 'Fluffy Bunny' because it's the Pagan version of the derogatory 'Nominal Christian'. It smacks of one upmanship and elitism-" I know something you don't know".

    We were all new to this once, and we are all more proficient than the next person in some way.Each of us have our own path.

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I admit I have used the term "fluffy bunny" to describe someone new to the craft or Wicca or Paganism in general who seems to already have all the answers. That being said, I don't use it often and I try not to be in any way mean or annoyed with them. You're right, at some point we've all been "fluffy bunnies." It's also something I haven't said in years.

    I think though that there is a huge problem in Pagan communities with people being really judgmental about others' beliefs and almost their "fitness" to practice. This is where I feel the term "fluffy bunny" comes in: for whatever reason people feel the need to judge if someone is fit or not to be a witch. I really hate that attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Suburban Kitchen Witch,

    I got so excited when I saw that someone was brave enough to do "F is for Fluffy Bunnies." I hear every verbal slam from "Playgan" to "Fluffy" and worse.

    So, thanks for posting! It made my morning.

    I've always thought of a "Fluffy Bunny" as someone who refused to recognize any and all perceived negativity. (I say "perceived" because not everything we think is "bad" is actually "bad.") The way I've heard it used, a "Fluffy" is someone who has a limited view of the universe - one that's all light and "good" and whites (binary terms of opposition that I find rather offensive, lol). And I think that's why the term is derogatory.

    I hate it that you've faced so much derision from within your own community. Ain't that the way? Here in the Deep South, I've gotten nothing but love from my neighbors, coworkers, school teachers, etc. From my religious community? One very nasty Pagan tyrant and a whole slew of name-callers. (But they don't call me "Fluffy"! Quite the opposite. I'm the bright eyed one that bucks tradition. They just call me "The Bad Witch.")

    Those who are bright and eager, well, that's just "nice people" with "good hearts" - ain't it? At least that's what I'd call y'all.

    BB,
    TBW

    ReplyDelete
  11. I went ahead and updated the blog with some of our fluffy bunny pictures. At least some that were easily accessible. I am really sad that I can't find some of my favorites. I'm sure I put them someplace very logical.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I was on twitter when someone called me a fluffy bunny. This was in response to a post I made about wanting to rename my family's celebration of Lammas since we are city folk and don't really pay attention to the harvest. I didn't understand why that made me fluffy; I thought Pagans adopted holidays and tradition to their specific needs. This person didn't even bother to find out why I make this post. At any at rate, I will not call anyone by this derisive term. Calling them a seeker is much better.

    I'm fairly new to paganism and my understanding of fluffy bunny is one who does not have much substance to them. They speak like they are well informed but in reality, they have no clue (they are full of s&*# or of fluff).

    ReplyDelete
  13. I agree with your belief that most of us were "Fluffy" at one time. I was, especially in High School. In reading one of my first BOS, I laugh at my notes. For real.

    I've been called Fluffy and a Plastic Shaman by others who wished to bring me to their low level. I just think that there was probably a time when they were a little fluffy, too. Blessings. ~)O(~

    ReplyDelete
  14. This is a fantastic post. I love that your kids have been pagan all their lives. I'm getting married this year and am starting to think about whether I'll raise my kids as pagans (my fiance is an atheist), and it's a difficult decision partially because I don't currently know any pagans who were raised that way or have kids they're raising that way, and I worry about them being the lone kids with the weird religion at school. But I'm encouraged by the fact that your kids didn't have much of a problem in school. It is frustrating that sometimes more discrimination comes from within the pagan community than from outside it.

    (Also, your pictures are adorable, I'm so glad you added them.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wonderful post and absolutely amazing pictures! Your children are fortunate to have you as their Mother! See, now, I always had assumed that being a "Fluffy Bunny" meant that a somewhat naive person was engulfed in fantasy - with images of themselves skipping through sunlit fields of lilies and watching butterflies flitting about - tossing sparkly glitter to the unseen fairies - never killing a cockroach or a spider and politely asking everyone to be kind to one another and to the world. I guess I was way off (LOL) but I kind of like my version. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love this post! And I totally got the Flat Stanley reference so that was awesome. My mom's work has a Tall Ship Flat Stanley that sails around on the ships with the crew but I like the Fluffy Bunnies better. And I find it rather silly that we Pagans use this term as a derogatory meaning to insult people that are just really excited about their new path. Everyone acts a little overeager when something new comes along but I don't see how that is a bad thing. We grow up and mature and then move along. I thought we were supposed to be more "open" and "accepting" than the other religions? You just keep rocking the fluffy bunny way of life and screw what other people think! :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOVE this post. And what's wrong with being a fluffy bunny? Bunnies are FEARLESS. Just watch any bunny in the yard sit still until the last possible moment when danger is near. It even has a "disposable" tail to help with it's quick get away.
    I am a fluffy bunny. I am fearless too.

    And don't forget....
    The Velveteen Rabbit was REAL :)

    Hugs to you honey!

    ReplyDelete
  18. meant to add...While I am not new to the craft, I think the term more refers to those of us with a Optimisim that is infectious..or maybe Polly Anna.

    But really we all need MORE OPTIMISM in our world.

    PERIOD.

    ReplyDelete