Sunday, August 24, 2014

On Sharing the Bathroom with Trans-Gender Folks

Since it seems to be a hot topic of late, I thought I'd chime in. You know, just for fun. It looks like fun.

If you look like a girl, dress like a girl, talk like a girl, walk like a girl, I am not even going to notice you walking into the lady's room. If you look like a man, talk like a man, walk like a man, I am and I'm going to wonder what the hell you're doing in girly land. I will probably try to help you out by kindly pointing out that you're in the wrong place, or I might wonder out loud if I'm in the wrong place. I am certainly not going to check if you have a penis. If you don't have a penis and proceed to explain that to me, we're just going to both be embarrassed. Your penis or lack thereof is not my business. It makes much more sense for someone who lives as a man to go where he won't draw attention and for someone who lives as a woman to do likewise. After all, going to the bathroom in a public restroom is awkward enough without having to explain yourself.

That all being said, we need more gender neutral bathrooms. It is awkward when you have a passel of kids to get all of their excretory needs handled when you can't go in the bathroom with all of them. This is especially troublesome for the dad who must parade his little girl past a bunch of guys using urinals.  And then you have a six year old of the opposite gender insisting that he or she is too old to go in the "wrong" bathroom and you have the choice of risking sending him or her into the "right" bathroom unsupervised, standing awkwardly at the door imagining all sorts of nightmarish scenarios until they get done playing with every automatic faucet and electric dryer they can find and wander out, or having a giant meltdown in the movie theater lobby.

All of this can be prevented with gender neutral bathrooms. Kids of all ages, mothers, fathers, transgender, boys, girls, etc. All welcome. Pee here for free.  And then, if a transgender person walks into the gender neutral bathroom, all the paranoid mothers who think that people just decide to be transgender to make it easier to rape women and molest children can stand there and watch while the transgender people go in the stall, do their thing, come out, wash their hands and leave and ensure that they don't touch their precious darlings and infect them with their proclivities.

What we need to do is ban germ freaks from public bathrooms because they're annoying. I am so tired of having to clean up some other woman's pee because she can't sit on the seat for fear of germs. If you have to hover, why can't you clean up after yourself? Because you might touch where someone else's butt touched? Doesn't it make more sense to touch your butt to that spot? No? You don't want to touch it at all. So I have to clean up your pee so that I can sit!! That's freaking gross. And the coverers are just as bad leaving their paper all over the place so I have to clean it up and flush it before I can go. WTF people. Let's focus on the real problems in the public rest rooms. Hoverers and coverers! Damn you all!